suck trek


if you must see star trek, do yourself a favor and catch a matinee.  at least then you’ll only feel 70% ripped off.

to preface this review, i’m a sci-fi fan.  but i haven’t seen every star trek movie.

but that’s like saying, “i’m a music fan.  but i haven’t heard every song.”

as far as the star trek franchise goes, i’ve enjoyed most of them in the past.  yes, even the pc version of st.

so i’m not a die hard who’s hell-bent on keeping it pure.  not by a long shot.

but to put van wylder at the helm of the u.s.s. enterprise…  c’mon!

chris pine may be an up and coming leading man, but he’s no shatner.

i mean seriously, how many fights can one guy get into in an hour?

and left dangling for dear life on some ledge of perilously high proportions at that!

no, for all it’s glitz and technological wizardry, star trek zero lives up to its name but not its namesake.

my review may not be hollywood worthy.  i didn’t go to film school.  i’m just a blogger.  but when a dude at work tells you a flick is “awesome as fuck,” you don’t expect to discover a turd in the punchbowl.  (and yes, those are his words in quotations.  this guy’s a rocker, through and through)

a question for j.j. abrhams (cuz he reads this) – WHY ARE ALL YOUR PROJECTS KEPT UNDER LOCK AND KEY WHEN THEY’RE ALL ABOUT THE SAME THING???

it seems to me that you would keep a secret in your lock box, not a tupperware container of your own regurgitated story lines.

i’m theorizing that his next work will be about someone with a troubled past but who can time travel and fights monsters and aliens from another world.  …and probably a girl in a wig but not necessarily.

in short, this movie was not awesome as fuck, but it wasn’t the let down of last year – cloverfield.  i at least thought my $5 matinee ticket was almost worth it.

erichapman out.


3 Responses to “suck trek”

  1. yeah, i wasn’t all that impressed either.

    and i totally agree about J.J. Abrams.

    seriously, his work has been getting worse and worse.

    he hasn’t been good since 1999 (Felicity).

  2. 2 becky

    I have no desire to see the Star Trek movie. Thank God my dad didn’t watch it much or I may have ended up a Trekkie (gasp!). Yet all of my friends are telling me that the movie is pretty cool even if I know nothing about the story. Oh, wait, these are my churchy friends…grain of salt activated.

    WE NEED A FELICITY MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. 3 erichapman

    what’s this “we” stuff?

    you got a friend in your pocket, padgett?

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